Great Moments

This is the year I gathered the courage to enter screenplay competitions. Nicholl Fellowship because of its prestige, Slamdance because of their feedback, and Zoetrope because of the chance that Francis Ford Coppola might read my script. Only one script was polished enough to deem worthy of submission this year and that was Eastern Sunset.

I dont know how many versions of this story I've written and in how many artistic variations but I did it. A story inspired by one moment in my great grandmother's life. One fateful moment that changed everything in a life that she thought was already set in stone; heck if it didn't happen I might have not been here today.

I got the confirmation letter from Nicholl Fellowships that I didn't make the cut for quarterfinals. I didn't even get a "PS message" which would have said that my script was read at least twice and got two positive feedbacks. I'm one of the thousands of people that got the 'thanks, we'll send you a link for the competition again next year...' email. A good percentage of these thousands of people are very very angry; angry at the system, the readers/judges, the Greg the director of the competition and even Mrs. Nicholl. I'm not...

I came into these contests as a 'worm jacob' -humble, hoping for the best but expecting the worst -and here it is, the worst. Just because you've been expecting it, it doesn't get easier. I'm not butt hurt at the people that didn't like my script or the judging system or organizers and Mrs. Nicholl whom without her generosity this platform of hope for screenwriters in limbo would not exist.

I am taking in deeper breaths today, nodding my head at an invisible coach agreeing that it just isn't my time yet. I can't help but feel a little deflated, like a dog chasing after its own tail to no avail. I have to remember that I love writing above all its 'perks' and though I am currently unable to contribute to my family's livelihood, I'm here with my two kids being props for their games, pillows for their naps and comfort for their tears -and that's enough. They need me more than Hollywood does right now.

But I'm not giving up! Like my great grandmother, my moment will come too...when it does I hope it's as inspirational and luminous.